What Happens When the Retreat Leader Gets to Go on a Retreat?

There’s a funny thing about leading a retreat: you can be in the most beautiful place, surrounded by people you love, and still have a distracted mind.

I know. It has happened with me.

While everyone is settling into breakfast, I’m thinking about the afternoon. While everyone is heading off to an activity, I’m making sure the next thing is lined up. Even when everything is going perfectly, there’s a quiet running list in the back of my head.

It’s part of caring about the experience you’ve created.

But this time, in the Dominican Republic, I got to see what a retreat feels like when you don’t have to do that labor.

Retreats Dominicana took care of the logistics for our group—from transportation and meals to the activities and all the details in between. I knew what was happening, where we needed to be and when, but I didn’t have to make it happen.

And that was a surprisingly wonderful feeling.

I could trust it.

The group was taken care of. Things ran smoothly. Nobody needed me to solve something every five minutes. I didn’t have to check in, double-check or quietly stay one step ahead.

I could just be there.

That changed the experience for me more than I expected.

I had conversations that weren't squeezed between responsibilities. I lingered over meals. I joined in instead of watching from the edges. I could sit on the beach and actually sit on the beach.

And I got to spend time with my group in a completely different way.

When you’re the person responsible for a retreat, you naturally slip into a certain role. You’re teaching, organizing, answering questions, watching the clock and making sure everyone is having a good time.

This time, I could simply be one of the people enjoying the experience.

We laughed more. We talked more. I got to know some of them in ways I probably wouldn't have if I’d been busy managing every detail.

That’s something I hadn't really considered before: when you take the logistics off the leader’s shoulders, you don't just give them less work.

You give them more time with their own people.

And that may be the part I appreciated most.

The retreat itself had everything I would want for a group—beautiful surroundings, movement, wonderful food, sound healing, time outdoors and experiences that felt meaningful without ever feeling forced.

But I wasn't responsible for making all of that happen.

I was there to participate, connect and enjoy it.

For anyone who leads retreats, I think that distinction is worth considering.

You don't have to give up being the leader. You don't have to be less involved with your group.

You just don't have to carry every detail.

I got to lead when I wanted to, participate when I wanted to, and simply enjoy being with my people.

And honestly, that’s how I’d like to do my next retreat.

Planning Your Own Samaná Retreat

In Their Own Words